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sillylola

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A dream..... [18 Jan 2008|07:09am]
[ mood | apathetic ]

New years party...that is where she was driving me. I didn't know. It was after she showed me her friend could laser engrave these stones,  beautiful red marbled stones.She turned this bland stone necklace into something beautiful. I was captivated. They asked if I wanted to go with them, of course I did, I was like a five year old in there hands, looking up to her older cooler sisters, except I am older, she is younger. I went. Tagging along pathetically. We drove for a bit, before my sister geared off into the woods, " where I we going" I asked her, wondering why and how it so suddenly got dark. Her and her friend turned around, and laughed at me. "New Years Party",  " Why in the woods, why is it dark" once again I feel like a five year old, this time one who is gotten in over her head and wants out. I jump out of the car, a soft-like blanket falling out with me, and start running back in the direction we came from. I wanted to go home, so scared, so cold, so alone, she just kept driving, her friend cackling from the side-passengers seat, and me pathetic. I wrap the blanket around me as much as I can, and walk. I walk until I pass out from exhaustion, with isn't long, considering what she put me through. When I awaken, I find myself two places and yet only one. The first is safely next to my fiancee' freezing cause he stole all the blankets,  the other still in my dream waking up on my mother bed, with her sitting next to me " Please be ok Please be ok, I can't live with out you" she keeps whispering. I open and eye, to see tears streaming down my mothers face. " where is she' I ask. My mother looks up at me like I am her savior in the darkness. " hasn't come home yet" she croaked, her voice horse from the tears. " How did I get home" I ask, I am told a story, of something odd. I dog, and a cat, both look identical to pets I had when I was a little girl, alternated between carrying me and dragging me out of the woods, and then home. I get up out of bed, and walk out to the porch, and go to the laser engraver, I want to make myself beautiful stone, so I will not be so captivated with my sister and her friend again. My sister arrives home cackling wickedly, as my fiancee' gets out of bed, and shuts the door a little louder than necessary,  thank god, I fear what my sister had to say, but now I may never know......

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Depressed, down, bad, horrible, you name it. [10 Jan 2008|01:13am]
Today...well I guess it's yesterday now... was the worst day...and I fear it's leaking into today...First I woke up to a nightmare...approximately 8am. Then Vata woke up, she was cranky...I was tired, had trouble sleeping the nite before as well. I am dead today. any way. Next it was freezing downstares, and yet another day with out  a word from the lanlord so we can get our fucking heat turned on. We have to heat our house with one Kerosene heater and a few small electric heaters. I have minor problems and glitches in the day, got electrocuted, blew a circut, lost interent. I lay a still cranky Vata down for a nap, and decide to take one for myself, and I wake up to my roommate, whom I consider a close friend BITCHING about me behind my back, to my Best friend(since the first grade) who just moved  in. I faked sleep and listened to him complaining. When he retreats to his room, I escape from teh couch and the day and take a REALLY hot shower. I can't stop thinking about his words all day, he was really mean. I haven't slept now since my one hour nap. Vata will be up soon, so I wont get to sleep until nap time. I tried to goto sleep, but when I got to late, and I new if I fell asleep at that point I wouldn't be up for Vata, so no sleep for me. Not now. Rarely ever. I'm depressed now, for the first time in a while. When I am upset I don't really feel down, cynical, or anything like that, this. here. now. always. is my depression. and I hate how it makes me. Please some one out there, cheer me up, here my call. And now today will be a repeat.
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[08 Jan 2008|03:10pm]

  • 35 Sailor Moon
  • 4 House
  • 3 Pauley Perrette
  • 2 PGSM
  • 1 Hearts
  • 1 Nature
  • 1 Animals
  • 1 SVU



PhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucket

See um!Collapse )
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[27 Sep 2007|06:59am]
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From now on my journal is going to be Friends Only. Because I am opening up a icon request, so if you want an Icon or many Icons you have to friend my journal. ^_^
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Layout Yay! [21 Sep 2007|06:11pm]
well after for ever i am happy with my layout. Now time to head off to myspace to screw around with that.
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Hogwarts Kitteh [20 Sep 2007|02:34pm]
I�m on ur broom�. � goin 2 Hogwarts

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kthnx [19 Sep 2007|01:29pm]
gesundheit
zomg teh cuteness


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Meh [11 Sep 2007|09:06pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

So I am feeling a tid bit depressed lately. I feel like I am getting no where with this house! I know it's only been a couple days, and rome wasn't built in a day, and I guess I am being impatient, and the dishes aren't going to clean themselves, but I sure with they would....I wanna goto college, the fact that I haven't yet makes me feel like a totally loser, I wanna do something with my life! Right now I just wanna break down. I know everything will work out it always does. I quit my job at perkins, Im always in search for something better something to make me happier. When I was little and asked the question what do you wanna be when you grow up, I always answered Happy! Since I was a gradeschooler my answer hasn't changed. I just wanna be happy. And I am happy with parts of my life, like Burtol and his little shipmate ;) and with my friends and right now I am very happy being a homemaker. But there is no money to be made in that. Sadly. 

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[09 Sep 2007|06:47pm]
So yeah, I've joined a anime icon challenge com, but i havent been approved for my claim, but I went ahead and made my icons because it was loads of fun so here they are.



A-amazon B-Black Lady C-cosmic D-drowning
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E-epiphany f-Frolicking G-Guilt H-Happy
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I-Inners J-Jupiter K-Kawaii L-Lonely
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M-Mechanic N-Nerd O-ORLY? P-pink
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Q-quiet R-Rock On S-heart and Soul T-True Love
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U-Uhhh V-vibrant W-Wild X-X_X
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Y-Youthful Z-Xmas ZZZ's
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OR P-Pwn L=love W-Winter
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other other other other
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Easy Tutorial [08 Sep 2007|12:25pm]
Simple tut <--second tutorial-->

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I really hope this doesn't become a repitition for me [07 Sep 2007|03:55pm]
Poo again. She pooed our red crayon Ew. Im still getting used to being mom. ^_^; I thought red poo= blood I was like zomg, But then Burtol was like noo crayon, *holds up evidence* lol. ^_^;
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Yeah [06 Sep 2007|03:59pm]
I duno what to do, sisters and family just moved out of state from me, and they are having a terrible time at it...They are telling my sister jo she isn't going to graduate this year because she doesn't have all the state requirements for graduating, she has all the credits according to our school system here in pa,  but now that they are in TN they won't let her graduate. My littlest sister, september, they say they aren't going to accept her credits from the private school she went to. T_T I duno what to do, my senior year we moved, and I was allowed to stay with a family friend in our home town for my senior year, i'd like to give my sister the same chance, but...then my other sister...*sigh*
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So i've decided to get a new one [06 Sep 2007|12:21pm]
I used to have a LJ account back in the day. But i lost it. ^_^;; longs time ago. But I missed the graphic searches and the friends you can make on here and decided to open one! I'll prolly post when ever I can, but not too much.

Today's Complaints:
My two year old step daughter pooped on the table. We are trying different potty training methonds, and my fiance' s friend sugested we let her run around with nothing on, cause it will make her wanna go to the toilette rather than going on her self or somthing like that. So my fiance' wanted to try it. Well she just sat on the coffee table while playng with her dora doll, and took a poo! I didn't even notice till she stood up and was like Look me poop! I was like X_x noooo.

Todays self accomplishments:
Getting my LJ, posting, and actually getting caught up with the million trade requests I got when I posted in the begging corner of SCMR. Lol Also got caught up on sweet temptations, which were the things i was behind of because of the "big move' my parents took, moving out of my house. ^_^; They decided to do it early so we had one day to pack them up and everything like that, alot of there stuff is still sitting in my dining room waiting for movers. O_O

Mini Crisis of the Day:
I need to get my dishes done so bad, but the minute i take my eyes off of the terible twos something really bad happenes. x_x
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